Grief is a tough burden to bear, no matter how old we are when we experience it.
However, losing someone you love is especially devastating when you are a teenager.
Experiencing the death of a loved one at a young age forces one to confront a confusing combination of emotions, including sadness, anger, and denial.
When a person dies, be it of illness, an accident, suicide, or—God forbid—murder, it shocks their whole community.
But it is a particularly difficult thing to process for the younger members of a community who are having to face the realities of life and death for the first time.
If you are in the unfortunate situation of having to write a sympathy card for a teenager, choose your words carefully.
You want to send a condolence letter that consoles them by showing an appropriate understanding of their grief and loss.
You certainly don’t want to make their situation worse by saying something insensitive.
Here are a few texts you could inscribe in a sympathy letter for a teenager who has lost a loved one.
13 texts to write in a sympathy card for a teenager
- I’m so sorry to hear that your mother has passed away. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
- There are no words to describe how devastated I was to hear about your sister’s passing. You are constantly in my thoughts.
- I am so sorry that you are going through pain about your friend’s death. Know that whatever anger and sadness you feel is completely understandable and that if you ever want to talk about what’s going on I am here for you.
- I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. Your father was a wonderful man, and he was so proud of you.
- I know you must be feeling sadness about your grandfather’s passing. You were the light of his life, and he loved watching you become the strong, competent, intelligent young woman you are.
- You are so wonderfully compassionate, caring, and wise beyond your years. I am in awe of how you have dealt with your grandmother’s passing.
- I was so sorry to hear about your mother’s death. I can’t imagine the pain you must be in. Know that you are so loved by your whole extended family and that you will always have my support whenever you want it.
- I am so sorry that you are having to confront the grief of your brother’s death. Know that you are entitled to take all the time in the world to process what has happened. This sadness won’t last forever, but while it does, please don’t hesitate to ask for anything at all.
- Your father was taken from you far too young, and I cannot imagine the grief you are feeling. Know that your school community is here to support you during this difficult time, and that you are so appreciated and respected by the whole teaching staff. Do not hesitate to approach any of us to talk at any stage. You have our all of our heartfelt sympathy.
- I was so sad to hear about your best friend’s recent passing. If there is anything I can do to ease your pain during this period of grief, please don’t hesitate to ask.
- Your brother adored you more than anyone else in the world. He was so proud of you, and you should have seen how his face would light up every time he spoke about you. He was taken far too young, and I have no words express how sad I am. Know that you are so loved by everyone around you. We will get through this together, eventually.
- I am so sorry for what you’re going through. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself. I am here for you, no matter what state you’re in. We can scream, eat, watch mind-numbing television, hug, cry, or drive somewhere far away together. Just keep talking to me, even when things feel dark.
- You are dealing with one of life’s hardest and most confronting realities right now. I love you and I will do anything I can to ease the pain of your father’s passing. Know that I am always just a phone call away.
Writing a sympathy letter addressed to a teenager is very different than writing one to an adult.
Teenagers have not reached emotional maturity yet and can be highly vulnerable.
If they have just suffered the loss of a close family member or friend, they will be experiencing a landslide of new emotions that they may not be equipped to handle.
When you write to them to express your sympathy for their loss, the most important thing is to stress that you understand the difficulty of the grief they are feeling and tell them that there is nothing wrong with them for feeling what they feel.
Express empathy for their sadness and offer to help them in any way you can.
Especially if a teenager has just lost a parent, tell them there are other adults around them who love them and want to support them.
Here are a few things you might inscribe in a card to a teenager who is dealing with grief following the loss of a loved one.
1. I’m so sorry to hear that your mother has passed away. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
When speaking to teenagers about grief, it is important to address the elephant in the room directly.
So, if an adolescent child has lost their mother, let them know that you sympathize with the difficulty of their situation by expressing what you are sorry for.
By helping them find the language to address their grief and normalizing discussions about death, you are showing them the way toward healing.
If you’re looking for other things you could write to a teenager who has lost their mother, check out these 31 texts to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a mother.
2. There are no words to describe how devastated I was to hear about your sister’s passing. You are constantly in my thoughts.
Just because someone is younger than you does not mean you can’t speak to them as an equal.
Particularly if a young person is bearing the full weight of grieving a loss, they will resent being spoken to as though their understanding of the situation is inferior to that of the adults around them.
This message shows the teenager you’re addressing that you see and value them, and that you are giving their experience the weight it deserves.
3. I am so sorry that you are going through pain about your friend’s death. Know that whatever anger and sadness you feel is completely understandable and that if you ever want to talk about what’s going on, I am here for you.
Grief in young adults after the loss of a close friend is an experience unlike any other kind of sadness.
The teen feels like the world that they have created for themselves outside of their family environment has been taken away from them.
This is both frightening and sad, and it can give them the impression that all the good things in their life can be torn out from under them at any point.
Console them by telling them that the complicated cocktail of emotions they are probably feeling is completely understandable and offer to speak to them about whatever is going through their mind.
4. I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. Your father was a wonderful man, and he was so proud of you.
When a teenager loses their father, it can be a devastating blow.
A good father is a pillar of stability, safety, and reason, and having this taken away from you in the phase of your life when you are developing your sense of self and understanding of the world is very hard.
Complimenting someone’s late father as a way of consoling them is always a good idea.
It helps them feel like their father’s memory will be honored by those around them.
For more ideas about how to console someone in this difficult position, check out this list of 27 texts to write in sympathy cards for the loss of a father.
5. I know you must be feeling sadness about your grandfather’s passing. You were the light of his life, and he loved watching you become the strong, competent, intelligent young woman you are.
Almost universally, grandparents adore their grandchildren. They see their youth and exuberance and are reminded of their own younger days.
And what’s more, without having to deal with the stress of parenthood, they can delight in watching these children’s personalities develop over time.
If a teen loses a grandparent, let them know how proud that grandparent was of their achievements.
6. You are so wonderfully compassionate, caring, and wise beyond your years. I am in awe of how you have dealt with your grandmother’s passing.
Another good way to help a teenager deal with loss is to compliment the way they are dealing with the situation.
They will be distracted by your kind words. Selecting the best phrase to respond to a compliment with when they write you a thank you for your condolences note will temporarily take their mind off their grief.
7. I was so sorry to hear about your mother’s death. I can’t imagine the pain you must be in. Know that you are so loved by your whole extended family and that you will always have my support whenever you want it.
One of the worst things to hear when you are grieving someone is, “I understand how you feel,” particularly if the person saying it has never lost someone close to them or appears insincere.
Instead, what is helpful to hear—particularly as a teenager—is, “I can’t imagine the pain you must be in,” because it demonstrates that the person speaking knows that they don’t understand the true extent of one’s sadness.
Using this phrasing will make the teen you’re addressing feel seen.
8. I am so sorry that you are having to confront the grief of your brother’s death. Know that you are entitled to take all the time in the world to process what has happened. This sadness won’t last forever, but while it does, please don’t hesitate to ask for anything at all.
Another great approach to consoling a teenager who is grieving the loss of a loved one is to tell them that they are entitled to take all the time in the world to process what has happened to them.
You can also let them know that the sadness they current feel isn’t permanent—it will pass.
Finally, offering to be there for a grieving person if they want to talk is always a good idea, but this is especially the case when they are a teenager who may need more help processing their emotions than an adult.
9. Your father was taken from you far too young, and I cannot imagine the grief you are feeling. Know that your school community is here to support you during this difficult time, and that you are so appreciated and respected by the whole teaching staff. Do not hesitate to approach any of us to talk at any stage. You have our all of our heartfelt sympathy.
If you are writing a sympathy card to a teenager on behalf of an institution, make sure your inscription doesn’t sound too much like a form letter.
The teenager you’re addressing will value feeling like you know them and care about them personally.
They will be less likely to reach out to the adult representatives of your organization or institution if they feel that you are just going through the motions.
10. I was so sad to hear about your best friend’s recent passing. If there is anything I can do to ease your pain during this period of grief, please don’t hesitate to ask.
This is a kind message to send the teenage child you are acquainted with, for example a piano student of yours or the child of one of your neighbors.
If you don’t know them quite well enough to discuss their loss in detail but still want to show them you care, a simple card that expresses compassion is a great way forward.
11. Your brother adored you more than anyone else in the world. He was so proud of you, and you should have seen how his face would light up every time he spoke about you. He was taken far too young, and I have no words express how sad I am. Know that you are so loved by everyone around you. We will get through this together, eventually.
If you are writing to the teenage sibling of one of your close friends who has passed away, telling them how much their brother (or sister) loved them and how proud they were of them is a nice thing to do.
Expressing that you too are experiencing sadness and grief will also help the teenager you’re writing to feel less alone.
12. I am so sorry for what you’re going through. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself. I am here for you, no matter what state you’re in. We can scream, eat, watch mind-numbing television, hug, cry, or drive somewhere far away together. Just keep talking to me, even when things feel dark.
This is an appropriate message to send a teenage sibling if they have lost a friend or girlfriend.
When adolescents are forced to confront emotions that they aren’t equipped to deal with, they often react to the situation by shutting down or isolating themselves from the people who love them.
Demonstrating to a teenager who is experiencing grief that you will do absolutely anything you can to support them will mean the world to them.
13. You are dealing with one of life’s hardest and most confronting realities right now. I love you and I will do anything I can to ease the pain of your father’s passing. Know that I am always just a phone call away.
When you write a teenager a sympathy letter, you are also acting as a role model for how to respond to bad news.
Showing empathy and compassion and letting them know they can call you at any point demonstrates to them what it is to be part of a community.
When, later in life, they are called on to support someone, they will be able to think back on your sympathy card and remember the comfort it gave them.
In this way, you are not only helping them deal with the loss of a loved one, but are educating them on how to offer the people they love care and continued support.