It is a popular saying that blood is thicker than water. This means that the bonds of loyalty and love that tie us to our family members are very difficult to break.
While we may argue or disagree with our relatives, at the end of the day, they are family, and there will always be room for them in our lives.
Another interesting thing about family is that being related to someone can make us feel bound to them, even when we don’t actually know them that well.
For example, most people don’t spend much time around their second cousins or great aunts and uncles.
However, they still feel obligated to say yes when responding to a wedding invitation from these distant relatives, to wish them good health on their birthday, and to send them a condolence letter when they suffer a loss.
If you find yourself in the position of having to write a sympathy letter to a distant relative, you might struggle with how best to express your condolences that they are in mourning.
Here are a few things you could write in a card to a distant relative who has recently lost one of their nearest and dearest that are sure to elicit a “Thank you for your condolences” message in return.
17 messages to write in a sympathy card for a distant relative
- My heart goes out to you and yours during this difficult time of grief and mourning.
- Mine and my family’s thoughts are with you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help during this difficult time.
- I will always remember the beautiful wedding portrait of you and Simon on the hallway in grandma and grandad’s home. I am so sorry that you recently lost such a wonderful and caring husband. Even though we don’t speak often, know that I am always here for you.
- I would like to express my sorrow at the news of your best friend’s passing. She was delightful to me the few times we spent time together, and I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. Feel free to reach out at any time if there is anything I can do to ease the pain of her loss.
- I have the fondest memories of playing on the beach with your daughter at our family reunions. Even as a child, she was a giving, caring, and funny. I was devastated to hear about her passing. May she rest in peace.
- The loss of your beautiful, brilliant son is felt by our entire family. May God give you strength during this time of sadness. On behalf of myself, John, and the children, I would like to extend our heartfelt condolences for your loss.
- There are no words to describe how sorry I am for the loss you are grieving. You are in my prayers.
- I was tremendously saddened by the news of your recent loss. May time heal the pain of your husband’s passing.
- I will keep my wonderful second cousin’s memory alive in my heart forever. I am so sorry for your loss, and I pray that time will bring you peace.
- I was filled with sorrow at the news of your wife’s passing. She was a kind and brilliantly intelligent woman who made everyone feel comfortable and at ease. She will be dearly missed by our whole family.
- Your mother was a treasure. She always knew exactly what to say and was the life of every party. She was kind, good-natured, compassionate, and above all, straight-up hilarious. She will be dearly, dearly missed. I am sending my heartfelt condolences to you and your children, her wonderful grandchildren who share so much of her.
- May the memories of the wonderful relationship you had with your husband give you solace during this time of grieving. Know that I am always here for you, no matter what.
- Your grandfather was so proud of you. His eyes would always light up when he spoke about you, and he would have done absolutely anything for you. When you feel sad about his loss, I hope you can find comfort in knowing how happy you made him.
- Your father was a wonderful man who knew when to laugh and when to stand up for his beliefs. He was moral to the core, and he cared about the wellbeing of everyone around him. He will be sorely missed by everyone who was lucky enough to know him.
- Please accept my deepest sympathies for the tragic loss of your son. May God rest his soul.
- I loved spending time with your family as a child, and I will never forget your father cracking jokes with us children while cooking up a delicious dinner on the barbecue. He had the warmest heart and the funniest wit. I am sending you my heartfelt cndolences for his loss.
- I am so sorry for your loss. Know that your brother was a beautiful soul, a fighter, and a kind and caring uncle. I cannot accurately express the grief I feel that he was taken so young. His memory will live on forever in our hearts.
If you were to ask someone what the most important qualities are that they look for in a partner, many people would say they want someone who has family values.
But what does it mean to be family-oriented?
Well, for one thing it means looking out for the people you’re related to––through thick and thin.
It means being available to help your family when they need it and being protective of them and their happiness.
It also means expressing your care for them through appropriate gestures and communication.
This is important on happy occasions (for example when you wish someone success after their graduation), as well as on sad ones (for example when you write a sympathy letter for someone’s recent loss).
Living out one’s family values can sometimes involve sending uncomfortable letters and messages.
If a distant relative suffers the death of someone close to them, finding the right words to express your sympathy can be a struggle.
But sending them your condolences during their time of grief will be sure to make them feel cared for and supported.
Here are a few sample inscriptions for a sympathy card to send a distant relative in response to bad news about someone’s passing.
1. My heart goes out to you and yours during this difficult time of grief and mourning.
What you write in a card to distant relative will of course depend on how distant that relative is, and how well you know them.
If you are writing a card of condolence for a second cousin twice removed whom you have only ever met once, it is better to strive for a formal tone.
This message is perfect for any family member that you don’t personally know well.
2. Mine and my family’s thoughts are with you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help during this difficult time.
When you are writing a letter to someone in your extended family, it is always nice to write on behalf of your entire immediate family.
So, if you are writing to a great uncle, you should convey not just your personal condolences but also those of your partner and/or children, if you have any.
3. I will always remember the beautiful wedding portrait of you and Simon on the hallway in grandma and grandad’s home. I am so sorry that you recently lost such a wonderful and caring husband. Even though we don’t speak often, know that I am always here for you.
If you have a more personal relationship with a distant relative, it is nice to reference this when writing them a sympathy card during their period of mourning. You can recount a memory of time you have spent with them or the deceased.
Even if this is just a memory of a photograph that you used to see in another relative’s house, reminding them of your family connection––even one that has been lost over the years––will be sure to warm their heart.
4. I would like to express my sorrow at the news of your best friend’s passing. She was delightful to me the few times we spent time together, and I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. Feel free to reach out at any time if there is anything I can do to ease the pain of her loss.
When it comes to our loved ones, every person’s life pans out differently.
Some people get married and have children, while others develop strong particularly strong friendship groups (think of the TV show Sex and the City) and get most of their emotional support from non-romantic partners.
If a distant relative of yours has a best friend who dies, this loss might be just as devastating to them as if their spouse had passed away.
Sending them a sympathy card under these circumstances will be very meaningful to them, especially because not everyone else will.
5. I have the fondest memories of playing on the beach with your daughter at our family reunions. Even as a child, she was a giving, caring, and funny. I was devastated to hear about her passing. May she rest in peace.
It is just the nature of families that they tend to spend more time together when there are young children in the mix.
This means that you may have spent your summers with a whole gaggle of cousins and second cousins whom you, as an adult, haven’t seen for ages.
If a relation of yours who you knew as a child passes away, sending their nearest loved ones a condolence card in which you reminisce about the times you used to spend together will surely mean the world to them.
6. The loss of your beautiful, brilliant son is felt by our entire family. May God give you strength during this time of sadness. On behalf of myself, John, and the children, I would like to extend our heartfelt condolences for your loss.
If your extended family are all part of a church or religious community, this is a beautiful sentimental message to send a couple who have recently suffered the loss of a child.
7. There are no words to describe how sorry I am for the loss you are grieving. You are in my prayers.
For people of faith, their relationship to death is intimately connected to their relationship with God and with prayer.
Establishing your family ties by referencing a shared faith and telling them they are in your prayers will surely warm a distant relative’s heart.
8. I was tremendously saddened by the news of your recent loss. May time heal the pain of your husband’s passing.
The truth is that you might not know the relative you are writing a condolence card to well at all. Maybe you didn’t even attend their wedding to their spouse.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send them a card if their significant other passes away.
This brief expression of sympathy is the perfect message to send a distant relative who has lost their life partner.
9. I will keep my wonderful second cousin’s memory alive in my heart forever. I am so sorry for your loss, and I pray that time will bring you peace.
If you are writing to a distant relative to express your sympathy for the death of another one of your distant relatives, it doesn’t hurt to reiterate what your relationship to them is, just so they can keep the family tree clear in their own head.
10. I was filled with sorrow at the news of your wife’s passing. She was a kind and brilliantly intelligent woman who made everyone feel comfortable and at ease. She will be dearly missed by our whole family.
If you had the good fortune to become friendly with an in-law who was married to a distant relative, you should certainly write to your relative if they pass away.
For example, if your second cousin’s wife and you got along brilliantly, you could send this kind message to your second cousin.
People always love to hear that their family members care about their partner, and this is especially true when they are grieving them.
11. Your mother was a treasure. She always knew exactly what to say and was the life of every party. She was kind, good-natured, compassionate, and above all, straight-up hilarious. She will be dearly, dearly missed. I am sending my heartfelt condolences to you and your children, her wonderful grandchildren who share so much of her.
When writing a message of condolence about an adult relative’s mother passing away, it is always nice to reference their mother’s living legacy, which is her grandchildren.
Mentioning the similarities between a grandparent and their grandchildren will always make the person in the generation between them feel moved.
12. May the memories of the wonderful relationship you had with your husband give you solace during this time of grieving. Know that I am always here for you, no matter what.
While no one likes to hear that things aren’t as bad as they feel after they have lost a loved one, shining a light on something that might bring them solace is a loving, compassionate thing to do.
This message reminds your relative that though their loved one is no longer with them, no one can take away the memories they have of the time they spent together.
This will surely bring the grieving person you are consoling at least a few moments of peace and happy reminiscence.
13. Your grandfather was so proud of you. His eyes would always light up when he spoke about you, and he would have done absolutely anything for you. When you feel sad about his loss, I hope you can find comfort in knowing how happy you made him.
If you are writing to a cousin or other distant relative about the passing of a grandparent, why not tell them how proud their grandparent was of them.
This is a particularly good text to write in a sympathy card for a teenager. Knowing that they were loved by the person they are grieving can help adolescents come to terms with a difficult loss.
14. Your father was a wonderful man who knew when to laugh and when to stand up for his beliefs. He was moral to the core, and he cared about the wellbeing of everyone around him. He will be sorely missed by everyone who was lucky enough to know him.
Writing a sympathy card for the loss of a father is never easy.
Fathers provide a sense of security and guidance, and when they pass away, it is for their children to accept their death, no matter how old they are when it happens.
This is a well-rounded message of condolence to send anyone who has lost an upstanding father.
15. Please accept my deepest sympathies for the tragic loss of your son. May God rest his soul.
It is incredibly difficult to make meaning from the loss of a child. If a distant relative finds themselves in the devastating position of having lost one of their own, you should definitely reach out to them to express your sympathy.
Even if you haven’t spoken to your grieving relative in years. In order not to imply a false sense of closeness to someone you haven’t been in touch with for a long time, keep your message relatively formal in tone.
This sample message strikes the perfect balance between conveying care and keeping a respectful distance.
16. I loved spending time with your family as a child, and I will never forget your father cracking jokes with us children while cooking up a delicious dinner on the barbecue. He had the warmest heart and the funniest wit. I am sending you my heartfelt condolences for his loss.
If a cousin or second cousin’s father passes away, sending them a kind message in which you reminisce about the good times you had with their father will certainly be moving to them.
Everyone likes to hear that their father was loved, appreciated, and respected.
17. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that your brother was a beautiful soul, a fighter, and a kind and caring uncle. I cannot accurately express the grief I feel that he was taken so young. His memory will live on forever in our hearts.
If someone dies too young, referencing their early death in your condolence message is a good idea.
It acknowledges what might otherwise become the elephant in the room.
If someone who passes away has battled with an illness and you had previously sent them a card wishing a speedy recovery, you could reference the fact that they were a fighter.
The word “fighter” signals to the family that you have compassion for their loved one’s struggle against their demons and that you do not think any less of them, despite popular stigmas associated with mental illness.