63 Funny Things to Write on a Retirement Cake

Retirement is a big deal. It’s up there with graduation, childbirth, and marriage as one of the biggest transitions in a person’s life.

Some people eagerly await reaching retirement age their entire working life.

Others are very sad to leave the workforce and worry about sitting at home with nothing to do.

Depending on a person’s experience throughout their career and in their most recent stint of employment, they’ll have a different feeling about their retirement party.

Choosing a message for a retirement cake is no easy feat.

If you know that the person wrapping up their time in your office has a good sense of humor, you should choose a funny message.

The more you can lighten their mood and encourage them to look forward to the freedom stretching out ahead of them, the better.

63 funny things to write on a retirement cake

Now what?
Oh the places you’ll (not have to) go!
Here’s to the REST of your life.
You’re the boss of you now.
After a life of wealth creation, here’s to your permanent vacation!
Caution: Man not working!
To do list: 1. Nothing, 2. Nothing, 3. Sweet, sweet nothing.
Adios tension, hola pension!
You might have less power…but there’s no need to shower!
Jobless but certainly not joyless!
It’s okay…you can sit down now.
“What day of the week is it again?”
Goodbye office wear, hello loungewear
None of this is your problem anymore!
You made it out alive!
What are you going to do all day?
Welcome to the longest weekend of your life.
This means you’re a full-time grandparent now, right?
Stop. It’s relax time.
Here’s a cake…because you made your whole career look like a cakewalk.
Does this all feel anti-climactic, or is it just me?
Happy unemployment! Sorry, I meant retirement.
Farewell stress, hello “I don’t even need to get dressed!”
You did the darn thing!
Work’s out forever!
Goodbye midnight emailing, hello midday sailing!
Kick back, relax, and binge your favorite snacks.
Welcome to retirement: You can have peanut butter for lunch again.
You literally don’t have to do anything anymore.
I worked my whole life long and all I got was this lousy cake.
Unemployed and overjoyed.
Have as much fun as your age will allow you to.
Welcome to childhood pt. II
The office won’t be the same without you…thank goodness.
Enjoy (what’s left of) your future!
Time be as chilled as this ice cream cake.
Congratulations to the best-looking retired person I’ve ever seen.
Happy retirement…and you don’t look a day older than 30.
She doesn’t even work here!
Here’s a coffee cake for your eternal coffee break
Retirement is like a bathroom…when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Retired from work but not from being a legend
You’re definitely going to miss us, right?
Who are you going to boss around now?
Congratulations, you’re under your own thumb now.
Welcome to being the boss of fun!
Welcome to the world of no work.
Welcome to the post-work era.
Going, going, gone!
Phew!!
Congrats on completing the shift of a lifetime!
The king has left the building.
Oh, just go already!
Happy retirement…we’re not jealous or anything.
Now you can have your cake, eat it too, and go home for good.
We’ll try not to ruin your legacy!
Thanks for all your hard work…we’ll try not to mess it up.
How will you cope without all of our constant questions?
Wait, where are you going?
Say goodbye to your alarm clock.
Time to see how much you like your own company now you’ve sold your company!
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
See you to– oh, no, wait…

Laugh-out-loud funny notes for retirement cakes

Why should you put a humorous spin on someone’s retirement? After all, there’s nothing hugely funny about dedicating your whole life to a job to survive, and only being allowed to stop once you reach a certain age.

If you sympathize with this dry approach, cheer up a little!

Retirement is a mark of achievement. And in our dominant global culture, being retired is a sign of having completed your duty to society.

A retirement party is a celebration of all the hard work and dedication the retiree put in over the course of their career.

A funny cake is a way to encourage the person leaving the workforce to look the future positively and get excited about the opportunities opening up to them.

What good is a party without laughter? Encourage everyone to enjoy themselves by establishing a good-humored tone right from the get-go.

1. Now what?

When you think of great messages to write in a birthday card for a friend, a lot of the things you come up with will be funny, right?

After all, you want your friend to enjoy their birthday.

A huge part of what makes a friendship enjoyable is being able to affectionately roast each other.

That’s how we keep our friends in line.

It’s also what gets us laughing out loud, which makes us forget our worries and enjoy the present moment.

This humorous, celebratory vibe is exactly what you’re trying to achieve by creating a funny retirement cake.

Writing, “Now what?” on a retirement cake suggests that the person retiring is at loose ends.

Essentially, the retiree’s cake will be challenging them to come up with an answer to what they’ll spend their time doing from now on.

2. Oh the places you’ll (not have to) go!

When choosing a message to write on a graduation cake, you might be tempted to trumpet the age-old and often-quoted Dr. Suess quote, “Oh the place you’ll go!”

While graduation parties are all about going places, since they take place at the very start of a person’s career, retirement parties are all about NOT going anywhere. (Or at least, not having to go anywhere.)

You can capture this sentiment with this funny message for a cake to serve up at a retirement party.

3. Here’s to the REST of your life.

If the person retiring is a dad, or if they just happen to like dad jokes, you can use this brilliant pun to congratulate them on being done with the hard part of life.

This message plays on the double meaning of rest. The first is as in “remainder,” while the second is as in “relax.”

Get it?

4. You’re the boss of you now.

Most of us have, at one point or another, responded to being told what to do with the infamous phrase, “you’re not the boss of me!”

Once we have entered the workforce, however, most of us unfortunately do have someone who is the boss of us.

We have to do what they tell us to do, because, well, that’s our job.

When someone retires, you can remind them of their rebellious spirit by writing “You’re the boss of you now” on their cake.

5. After a life of wealth creation, here’s to your permanent vacation!

Some people follow their passion when choosing a career path. But many people aren’t so lucky.

Most people out there are just doing what it takes to get by.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t happy, of course. You can have a very enjoyable work life in a field you aren’t inherently passionate about.

Maybe you love the office banter or appreciate a job well done, no matter what that job is.

If someone’s job has been mostly about wealth creation, however, congratulate them with this rhyme.

6. Caution: Man not working!

We all know the roadwork signs that say, “Men at work,” which encourage drivers to slow down near a road construction site.

Make a cake that looks like this familiar sign, but write “Caution: Man not working!” on it.

This’ll be sure to give the retiring man in your life a good chuckle.

7. To do list: 1. Nothing, 2. Nothing, 3. Sweet, sweet nothing.

Write this on a cake that looks like a yellow post-it note…or a sheet of paper.

Alternatively, this message is one of the awesome things to write on a whiteboard in the room where the retirement party is taking place.

8. Adios tension, hola pension!

This famous retirement saying is the perfect way to get someone excited for the years of relaxation they have ahead of them.

After all, they’ll find themselves wondering what to write on a postcard from a vacation they’re taking somewhere in Spain in no time!

9. You might have less power…but there’s no need to shower!

This funny rhyme will strike a chord with anyone retiring from a management position or executive role.

By the end of a CEO or CFO’s career, they probably feel torn between fear about losing their authority and relief at handing over the decision-making reins.

This joke states that the advantage of losing influence is that you no longer have to look the part…and that includes not having to wash yourself.

10. Jobless but certainly not joyless!

This play on the similarity between the words “jobless” and “joyless” makes the point that there are many bright things on a retiree’s horizon.

11. It’s okay…you can sit down now.

This is the perfect retirement cake message for someone who spent their entire working life on their feet.

This could be either because they were in a physical job, such as nursing or construction, or because they were always rushing from point A to B to C to make things happen.

Reminding the retiree that they can sit down now is a great way to compliment them on their work ethic.

12. “What day of the week is it again?”

We all know that a vacation has finally kicked in when we no longer know what day of the week it is.

This cake-top quote is a great way to remind the retiree that the days of the week won’t matter to them anymore.

They’ll be free from the responsibilities imposed by a structured work week.

13. Goodbye office wear, hello loungewear.

You know that feeling when you get home and exchange your stiff, ironed work clothes for comfy sweats?

This message for a cake is a reminder that the retiree’s days of wearing uncomfortable clothing are over.

14. None of this is your problem anymore!

If the person whose working life is ending is quite distressed about not being involved in office life anymore, you can remind them of the positives with this cake.

If you know some good ways to cheer someone up over text, you might also want to drop the retiree a more serious message after the party, reminding them that you’re there for them.

You can tell them that you’ll stand by their side during this period of transition and sincerely thank them for the wonderful working relationship the two of you had.

A funny cake is always a good way to lighten the mood at a party, but that doesn’t mean you can completely neglect the more serious feelings a person has about their retirement.

15. You made it out alive!

If you know that the person retiring was genuinely struggling to stay motivated toward the end of their stint in the world of work, you can send them a cake with this jokey message.

Congratulating them on surviving working life will appear especially funny to them now that all the stress is finally over.

16. What are you going to do all day?

If one of your closest friends is retiring, you can throw them a party with a cake that features this very funny message.

Jokingly asking what someone is going to do all day implies that doing nothing is a bit lazy.

This is very funny because it appears that you are already judging someone for being idle on the day when they have just completed 40+ years as part of the workforce.

17 Welcome to the longest weekend of your life.

Many people spend a good chunk of their working life counting down the hours until Friday evening.

TGIF, right?

Well, when you’re retired, no day is any different to the one before or after it, which means your life is just one never-ending weekend.

Thinking of retirement as time off work rather than a long stretch of empty days may help some people enjoy the unstructured hours that will make up the rest of their life.

18. This means you’re a full-time grandparent now, right?

If one of your parents is retiring and you are secretly (or not so secretly) hoping it means you’ll be getting more free childcare, you can bake them a cake and write this message on it.

Whether you are being serious or not, it’ll be a good conversation starter at their retirement party.

Plus, people like to feel useful. If your mother or father was high up the chain of command at work and is worried about having empty days, you can give them a new job title: grandparent.

19. Stop. It’s relax time.

This play on the well-known lyric “Stop. Hammer time,” will be sure to get the crowd going at any retirement party.

20. Here’s a cake, because you made your whole career look like a cakewalk.

How do some people make it all look so easy? We all work with people who someone manage to make even the most difficult tasks look like child’s play.

Choosing a funny cake-top message that refers to the way they made their career appear like a cakewalk (something really easy), is pretty meta.

21. Does this all feel anti-climactic, or is it just me?

If you and your close work colleagues behave like siblings and are always competing and making jokes at each other’s expense, you can gift them a cake with this note on top.

Especially if they are making a big deal of their retirement and are celebrating with all the pomp and circumstance possible, you can joke that whole thing is a bit of a letdown.

They’ll know exactly what you’re doing. Plus, the cake will surely make the party attendees laugh.

22. Happy unemployment! Sorry, I meant retirement.

Another great message that gives off all the sibling-rivalry vibes is this one that refers to someone’s retirement as their unemployment.

If you spent years in the workplace negging each other, you’re hardly going to change your tune at the end, are you?

Plus, your colleague will know that the two of you will probably thinking of good messages to write on a donation brick for the institution you work for together down the line. In other words, there are absolutely no hard feelings.

But life is more fun when you can poke fun at each other, right?

23. Farewell stress, hello “I don’t even need to get dressed!”

Rhyming messages give cakes a bit of extra flair. This funny one pairs elegant-sounding language with the slightly ridiculous concept of not having to get dressed anymore.

24. You did the darn thing!

Whether your retiring colleague hails from the south or just enjoys old-school American language, you can choose this saying as the message for their retirement cake.

What is “the darn thing” in this case? Oh, just the entirety of a full-fledged career.

25. Work’s out forever!

This makes the perfect retirement cake message for a teacher’s retirement. We all know the song “School’s out!” by Alice Cooper, right?

I mean, it was the anthem of the first day of every summer vacation from kindergarten onwards.

So, if school is really out forever as a teacher, that means that so is work.

This is a funny way to pay homage to the teacher in your life’s time in the public sector doing the good work of educating the next generation.

26. Goodbye midnight emailing, hello midday sailing!

If the retiree being celebrated is an avid sailor, you can write this message on their cake.

Midnight emailing is a literal thing that happens to people caught up in the stress of a busy work life.

But it is also a great symbol of the general lack of free time a working exec has.

This cake points out the contrast between a life where not even your midnights are your own and one where your midday is entirely yours to decide what to do with.

27. Kick back, relax, and binge your favorite snacks.

In many ways, retiring is getting a second shot at childhood now that we’re wise enough to know how good it is.

Encouraging someone who is retiring to indulge in a childlike activity, such as binging their favorite snacks is a funny way to make this point.

28. Welcome to retirement: You can have peanut butter for lunch again.

Workplaces come with a lot of rules and regulations, including that you can’t bring nuts into the building.

If the retiree being celebrated is a big fan of peanut butter, you can write this on their cake.

Not only is it funny, but it is also a metaphor for the greater freedom they are gaining to do what they like in every aspect of their life.

29. You literally don’t have to do anything anymore.

‘Nuff said.

30. I worked my whole life long and all I got was this lousy cake.

This cake-top message is a throwback to the early aughts.

If the person retiring was in their prime at the turn of the millennium, they’ll be overfamiliar with memorabilia that says, “My friend went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

31. Unemployed and overjoyed.

Some people find retirement difficult to deal with. Others, however, have been counting down the days to the end of their tenure at work since the first time they paid into their pension.

If the retiree in your life falls squarely into the latter category, write this message on their cake.

32. Have as much fun as your age will allow you to.

If the person retiring has a great sense of humor and isn’t sensitive in the slightest, you can joke that you hope they have as much fun as they can at their age.

The implication of course is that as a pensioner, they aren’t nearly as nimble or energetic as they were many moons ago.

Whether this is in fact true or not, they retiree will appreciate the jeer.

They’ll surely have a comeback too, so be ready to battle.

33. Welcome to childhood pt. II

I mean, where is the lie, right? The only difference now is that in retirement you get to act as your own parent.

34. The office won’t be the same without you…thank goodness.

Why do we roast the people we love? The psychology is complicated.

We all know that when we like a colleague we’ll give them a really hard time, whereas when we don’t, we’ll always choose a reply to “what’s up?” that is polite and friendly.

This cake-top message is a perfect example of ribbing someone you actually really like.

35. Enjoy (what’s left of) your future!

Harsh? Yes.

Funny? Absolutely.

If the person ending their stint in your workplace treats every offensive remark as water off a duck’s back, you’ll definitely get away with this cake-top message.

36. Time be as chilled as this ice cream cake

This note is basically just an excuse to get an ice cream cake for a colleague’s retirement bash.

Let’s face it, ice cream cakes are the kings of the cake world.

“Chilled” is another way of saying “relaxed.”

Encouraging someone who is done working to relax might seem like a small thing, but a lot of retirees have a hard time enjoying the free time they’ve gained.

Sending them the message that they deserve to enjoy this time of calm and relish not having any responsibilities (even through a funny cake-top note) may be helpful.

37. Congratulations to the best-looking retired person I’ve ever seen.

If one of your parents, siblings, or close friends is bringing their career to a close, you can get them a cake with this funny but complimentary icing message.

38. Happy retirement…and you don’t look a day older than 30.

This message is specifically thought up with your mother or aunt in mind.

If an older woman in your life is self-conscious about the years passing, you can give her this funny and ego-boosting cake.

39. She doesn’t even work here!

Is the retiring person in your life a Mean Girls fan? If so, they’ll be familiar with the line, “She doesn’t even go here!”

You can add a fondant rainbow and butterfly to this cake to really get your point across.

And writing out the words in “burn book” font will give it even more additional flair.

40. Here’s a coffee cake for your eternal coffee break

Some people are workaholics, while others know how to draw out a coffee break and manage to make the break room their king- or queendom.

This type of worker is always coming up with long-winded ways to respond to “how’s your day?” and manages to turn each brief exchange into something much longer.

If the person retiring used to love a good coffee break, you can order them a coffee cake with this funny message that pokes fun at their lazy habits.

41. Retirement is like a bathroom…when you gotta go, you gotta go.

This message for a retirement cake is only appropriate for a very specific kind of person. You’ll know if it’s fitting or not.

But let’s just say that if it is fitting, you’ll have the retiree roaring with laughter.

42. Retired from work but not from being a legend

Are you celebrating the retirement of a coach?

Whether the sport they devoted themselves to was football, baseball, or lacrosse, this makes a funny message for their cake.

43. You’re definitely going to miss us, right?

If you and the rest of your team are chipping in to get a retiring manager a cake, this would be an ideal and funny message.

The implication is of course that they probably will not miss you.

But playing at being a needy bunch of employees is sure to make the retiree laugh.

44. Who are you going to boss around now?

Is your boss retiring? It’s almost essential that you get them a cake with this funny message on it.

Of course, they’ll have to be someone who has a thick skin and enjoys a bit of back-and-forth banter.
If they are, they’ll love this.

45. Congratulations, you’re under your own thumb now.

We say that someone is under the thumb when there is someone who has authority over them.

When an employee retires, they are essentially removing themselves from being under their employer’s thumb.

Joking that they are under their own thumb makes the point that someone has spent the entirety of their working life doing what someone else wanted.

Now, they don’t have to anymore.

46. Welcome to being the boss of fun!

This is another great option for what to write on a boss’s retirement cake.

No matter how big the decisions the retiring CEO or manager was making on a daily basis, you can lighten the mood by referring to their retirement as the start of being the boss of fun.

47. Welcome to the world of no work.

When someone gets their first job, we tend to welcome them to the world of work. You can flip this on its head when they retire by welcoming to the world of no work.

48. Welcome to the post-work era.

If you’re celebrating the retirement of a journalist, you can write this on their cake.

It is a play on the term “post-truth era” that gets bandied about all the time in the world of professional media.

This will be sure to put a smile on the reporter in your life’s face.

49. Going, going, gone!

This message is ideal for the retirement cake of an auctioneer.

Just like an item on a docket, they have almost served their purpose.

50. Phew!!

This is the sound we all make when we’ve just finished a difficult task. And a lifetime of work is certainly that.

51. Congrats on completing the shift of a lifetime!

This is an excellent punny note for the top of a retirement cake.

It is a play on the fact that “the shift of a lifetime” can mean the most difficult shift someone has ever had, or else it can mean a life-long shift.

In this case, both meanings apply.

52. The king has left the building.

If the person retiring is a big Elvis Presley fan, you can write this funny message on their congratulatory cake.

53. Oh, just go already!

Are you genuinely feeling upset and emotional that you won’t be choosing ways to respond to “Hi” from your retiring colleague when you pass them in the halls anymore? If so, you can get this iced on their cake.

Telling them to go already is a funny way to make the point that this drawn-out retirement process is making you upset.

54. Happy retirement…we’re not jealous or anything.

If your whole office is throwing your retiring colleague a party, you can get a cake with this message on it.

What makes this cake funny is of course the fact that you are actually jealous.

55. Now you can have your cake, eat it too, and go home for good.

Sometimes all the compromises we make in life pay off and we experience a windfall of good things all at once.

That’s kind of what retirement is. Of course, we’ve all worked for the rewards we’ll reap at that age, but we do get to have our cake and eat it too…as in, stay home and still get a paycheck.

56. We’ll try not to ruin your legacy!

If the person retiring has built up the company you work for from the ground up, they’ll be a bit apprehensive about passing over the helm of their ship, so-to-speak.

You can poke fun at their apprehension by flippantly saying you’ll do your best not to destroy their life’s work.

57. Thanks for all your hard work…we’ll try not to mess it up.

This cake-top message is similar to the previous ones.

When a particularly dedicated employee ends their tenure at a company, you can joke that you’ll try not mess up all their hard work.

58. How will you cope without all of our constant questions?

If a boss is leaving the workforce, you can joke that they might find it difficult not to have people nagging at them constantly.

It’s pretty evident why this is funny, right?

59. Wait, where are you going?

This message for the top of a retirement channels anxious-child energy.

The joke is that the senior employee who is leaving is like your parent and you are a child who isn’t quite sure what to do without their guidance.

60. Say goodbye to your alarm clock.

This would look perfect on a cake designed to look like an old-fashioned alarm.

61. Time to see how much you like your own company now you’ve sold your company!

If someone is retiring young because they’ve successfully sold their company, you can make a pun about how they’ll have to see how much they like not doing anything.

Most people who manage to become financially independent at a young age are go-getters, which means they’ll probably struggle to sit down for too long.

What’s funny about this cake is that they’ll likely be busy again soon.